"What I hold dear about my memories are still true and will be as long as I want them to be. Friends will always come and go and landscapes will always change." Matt JL Thomson
"Date a girl who reads.
How many times have I sat and read poetry and prose starting or ending with this very line? The answer is far too many for my overwrought mind to recall. We are drawn to the mystique, the intrigue, of the one who steals away to a quiet room with a book in hand, in favor of a quiet night in their mind than in the loud, day-to-day business that is life. Girls who read tend to have more vast vocabularies, spanning endlessly into the distant horizon and the settling light. They tend to be quietly bold; in one breath, they’ll praise you and mock you just the same, and you will never know which is the more sincere of the two. Girls who read are people we all fantasize about dating.
But let me just propose for a moment that we also cherish the girls who write. Girls who read and girls who write are not always one and the same, but a girl who writes is everything a reader is and more. A girl who writes will find nights like those who read, but more often, she will find herself at the Friday night party, reading your movements like a poorly-written essay and revising it in her head. She rewrites the settings around her to find excitement wherever she may be.
She knows how to describe the circumference of the moon in a way that makes you wish you had paid closer attention to the sky the night you first kissed, because it will forever be a page written into her memory. She will make you wonder how she describes you to herself late at night when all she has is the residual tingle of your lips on her neck and the taste of exhilaration she feels in her toes when she whispers your name into the dark, a secret promise to immortalize how she remembers you now. She will make you want to read every word she writes as well as the ones she has never found the courage to. She will make you become a person who reads.
And we all know what they say about people who read.”
I want to feel the electricity
of cold meets warm
in a thunder clap
I light on fire.
This one day,sometime in early June last year, I took off my Steve Madden sandals, the ones that went really well with my favourite dress of all time, and I put them in a pile with hundreds of other shoes because at the end of the day, training my muscles of non attachment is more important to me than what those sandals represented in my life. Sacrifice is a part of life, may as well practice it on the little unimportant things in preparation for the big ones.
I have not missed them.
I hold on to you like a toddler at the corner
of a coffee table. I want to take a
step away but I’m afraid
I’ll fall and there won’t be anything for me
on the other side of the living room.
I hold on to you to keep from growing up.
I want to live in that land 2 years ago where
I didn’t know where I was going and
I wanted someone else’s indecisiveness
to shield my own.
You were a boy and the girl in me wants
to wrap my arms around your neck
and push my face into your pimply, stubble free chin
and kiss and kiss and kiss because
I’m afraid of growing up because
what kind of woman will I be
if I finally allow myself to become her?
This is the day that The Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.
I’m going to get a dog and
name him Courage.
That way I can start each day
with Courage by my side.
I’ll wake up to Courage,
there at the end of my bed.
I’ll get up and walk with Courage.
Even if the sun has yet to rise,
or if the sun has long ago set,
if a sound in the bushes startles me,
I’ll have Courage.
When I’m alone and tired,
unsure of what to do,
I’ll play with Courage,
and he will lead me
on adventures I could never imagine alone.
I’m in a rotten mood and I could do a few things about it. I could stay with it, get to know it, stop trying to fix it. Or I could do what I normally do and try to fix it, remove it, forcibly remove it, judge myself for it, speculate on all the reasons why I am in this rotten mood and try to fix those individually, send some texts out to friends to alleviate the intensity of this rotten mood, or….do that first thing- be with it & do nothing.
I’m going to drink my Chai Latte I made, and write.